Zee Toast of zee French!! (Helllllllllp!!)

[TinMan]

Yes, that's right...I'll admit it...I need a good French Toast recipe!!

So the other day my better half...who will henceforth be known as Rip Van Winkle, or RVW for expediency's sake, slept in...<gasp> I know...that is cruel and unusual punishment...but even in the face of such adversity, I remained strong...so when my oldest came up to me and said, "I'm hungry!!" I knew there was only one thing I could do.

But apparently Pizza Hut doesn't do breakfast...nor do they deliver in my area...something about rednecks trying to do a dine and dash...But who knows with those goobers.

Well, it was decided, I'd have to saddle up the Ford, go into town and buy some vittles.

But my oldest informed me with a resounding, "Nuh uhhhh" that wasn't what she wanted...

"Well just what do you want?" I queried. I had one foot in a boot, the other half way in and keys already in my pocket...it was a committed state I was in...So oldest looks at me sand say, "I want you to cook something."

The child was deranged...Must be...When has she ever seen me cook anything other than cookies? I mean, I make a mean bowl of cereal on demand, but when offered that she insisted that it be something cooked...and not just something poured into a bowl with milk over it

So I offered eggs...Eggs are pretty hard to mess up...you crack'em...dig as much of the shell out as you can...whip them about for a bit...throw them into some form of cookery...let'em sit...mess with them a bit more...voila!! Done!!

Well, having gone through my entire repertoire of things I could think to cook (eggs)...I asked her what she wanted...

"French Toast." Was the decisive reply.

I'll spare y'all further details of this epic tale (to save me further embarrassment), but to summarize...the dogs are now sick to their stomachs, the kitchen has a burnt odor to it, we're out of butter, down to one slice of bread and RVW has forbidden me from ever using her good dishes again.

But I shall not admit defeat...so...any help offered is appreciated.

[dunderi]

lol

three eggs minus the shells, a cup of milk, half cup of cream, goodly splash of vanilla (or Scotch whisky) and a dollop of honey, sprinkle of cinnamon. beat vigorously.

soak bread slice, both sides, in mix. I do a couple at a time.

Pan should be a low-end of medium heat. Lots of butter, or bacon grease, in it.

If anything is burning, pan is too hot.

Cook the slices through. They should be soft and luxuriant, not soggy or squishy.

drizzle with maple syrup, serve alongside piles of bacon.

True deep fry masters can drop these in a fryer, personally I've only ever seenthat end in tears, pain and lots of mess... so don't be tempted

[milkcowaholic]

Take 4ish eggs and a shot or so of fresh cream (or the icky store bought stuff if you still haven't found anyone to loan you a cow!) a hearty dash of cinnamon and a pinch of salt, beat the hell out of it in a big enough bowl that when it's thoroughly beaten, you can lay a slab of bread in it so it's good and covered in egg goo. Don't let it get soggy though. Then when your griddle is sizzling hot, slap some bacon grease on it and smear it around, and then gently lay the goo covered bread on it. Flip it over after a minute or so, and wait another minute or so.

Cover the done toast in a gigantic scoop of butter, drown it in maple syrup (warmed up first so it doesn't chill the French toast) and pig out!

Then stand back while your adoring and awe struck children gaze in wonder at you for your masterpiece of cookery!

[TinMan]

Thank you ladies...You are the wind beneath my wings...the apple of my eye...the cream in my coffee...the apply in my turnover...the tree in my forest...but never...will you ever...be the chocolate chips in my cookies!!

Because as we have all learned...chocolate chip cookies with chocolate chips is just obscene!!

[eljay]

Dear Tinman,

Please pass this on to your beloved wife. My DH cooks breakfast every Saturday and Sunday. It is a lovely tradition to develop and will ensure that your children will adore you for ages to come.

[TinMan]

eljay,

If I had finished the rest of that story, you'd not be saying that...I think I got myself banned from the kitchen...which is cool...only I'm hungry at the moment...and no one is awake...I'm trying to decide if I should go and set the alarm clock to go off in five minutes or to burn a piece of paper under the fire alarm...

My wife is a firm believer in..."The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse got the cheese."

Well that, and she's got a teething youngster who she's trying to break off from nursing...it's kinda funny to watch them battle it out over who's "udder" it really is...I'd laugh, but I'm actually taking notes from my daughter because I foresee me doing the same thing with a cow someday...annnnd my other half would know why I was laughing so then I'd never eat!!

[guernseygirl]

@tinman here is my super easy cheater method, from a time in my childhood when I hated the goopy string of egg that always seemed to hang off.

Take a big clump of butter and throw it in a pan. Once it's melted toss some bread in, flip once to get each side a little toasty. Pour syrup over.

Of course you could always just make toast, add butter and syrup and call it something French. (Or modify my fave "American waffle recipe" and top with butter, peanut butter, vanilla ice cream and syrup....mmmmm.)

[suzorse]

I whip eggs with a little milk sprinkle in some nutmeg, heat pan on med heat dip bread in egg mixture and put in pan , after around 3 min turn over should be light brown, butter and smear with jelly or pour syrup on , if you want it to look pretty sprinkle on a little powder sugar before jam or syrup
Suzanne

[TinMan]

Thank you everyone...I shall endeavor to persevere!! As Napoleon once said..."I ate what?!"