A warning to the newbies, and a laugh for seasoned cow owner
May 28, 2015 14:16:47 GMT -5
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Shawn, farmwench, and 27 more like this
Post by SebFarm on May 28, 2015 14:16:47 GMT -5
Your life will not be the same-you will not be the same
If you are looking for your first cow, or recently got one, there are things you must know. These are the ones that nobody warned you about.
Discharge. Vaginal discharge ( or just goo ). Sounds kinda icky? You will find it interesting, there will be pictures of it on your phone. Your cow is pregnant, must check out and take pictures of the goo and her rear end. Your cow is in heat, must take pictures and check out the goo. ( mainly if it's the wrong color ) besides having pics of it in your phone, you will start talking about it to your friends, if they aren't cow people they will think you lost your mind. You'll know your cows goo schedule, you'll know pre calving goo to regular goo. You'll know which colors are normal, and which aren't.
Calendars, birthday reminders, special days and reminders will be over ran with cow related dates. When she came into heat, when her last vet visit was, when she was bred, any abnormalities.
Vacations and free time-hahaha! you will be annoyed if somebody gets married when your cow is close to calving, and you won't be able to be home that night to check on her. You will be milking your cow for over 6 months, depending on you and your cow, over a year. Your cow will not appreciate it if you leave and beg somebody else to do it.
You will have a pair of "barn boots," these boots will not be worn in public. They are caked in mud and poop, and no matter what you do, they reek of cow poop.
Cow poop, you'll be able to look at it, know what your cow has been eating, and if you need to change her diet.
You will have more cow meds then human meds.
You will lose the smell of cow odor, you will think you don't smell, the people around you will strongly disagree.
Chances are a calf will be in your house.
You will lose sleep
Keeping a spotless clean house will be a joke.
Chances are you'll have a moment while milking when you feel creeped out about what you are doing.
You will lose your temper, you will string together creative words, you will learn to be calm. Fixing a fence on the fly, neighbors will think you are weird when your walking your cow, or chasing it down the road. You will be driving, then start checking out all the cows that you see. You will be more concerned that you will have enough food, and the correct balanced diet for your cow, then you do for yourself. Phone and computer, full of cow butts, cow faces, and udder pics.
You will start going through catalogs looking for that perfect semen to order.
Good luck
What am I missing? I know there's more.
If you are looking for your first cow, or recently got one, there are things you must know. These are the ones that nobody warned you about.
Discharge. Vaginal discharge ( or just goo ). Sounds kinda icky? You will find it interesting, there will be pictures of it on your phone. Your cow is pregnant, must check out and take pictures of the goo and her rear end. Your cow is in heat, must take pictures and check out the goo. ( mainly if it's the wrong color ) besides having pics of it in your phone, you will start talking about it to your friends, if they aren't cow people they will think you lost your mind. You'll know your cows goo schedule, you'll know pre calving goo to regular goo. You'll know which colors are normal, and which aren't.
Calendars, birthday reminders, special days and reminders will be over ran with cow related dates. When she came into heat, when her last vet visit was, when she was bred, any abnormalities.
Vacations and free time-hahaha! you will be annoyed if somebody gets married when your cow is close to calving, and you won't be able to be home that night to check on her. You will be milking your cow for over 6 months, depending on you and your cow, over a year. Your cow will not appreciate it if you leave and beg somebody else to do it.
You will have a pair of "barn boots," these boots will not be worn in public. They are caked in mud and poop, and no matter what you do, they reek of cow poop.
Cow poop, you'll be able to look at it, know what your cow has been eating, and if you need to change her diet.
You will have more cow meds then human meds.
You will lose the smell of cow odor, you will think you don't smell, the people around you will strongly disagree.
Chances are a calf will be in your house.
You will lose sleep
Keeping a spotless clean house will be a joke.
Chances are you'll have a moment while milking when you feel creeped out about what you are doing.
You will lose your temper, you will string together creative words, you will learn to be calm. Fixing a fence on the fly, neighbors will think you are weird when your walking your cow, or chasing it down the road. You will be driving, then start checking out all the cows that you see. You will be more concerned that you will have enough food, and the correct balanced diet for your cow, then you do for yourself. Phone and computer, full of cow butts, cow faces, and udder pics.
You will start going through catalogs looking for that perfect semen to order.
Good luck
What am I missing? I know there's more.